i> Away With The Fairies.: June 2006

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Don't want to be gay?

I have to share this. Richard Cohen, a "Christian psychotherapist," Claims to be able to 'cure' homosexuality by, amongst other things, sitting homosexual men on his lap and giving them a cuddle.
Richard is a former homosexual, and author of 'Coming out Straight'. He claims the therapy is a powerful cure.
It has to be added, other therapists are not convinced

Stone circles

You can't move very far in Wales without tripping over one of these.

A stone circle.

Not sure what they're all about. I think the Druids use them for sacrificing virgins.
Which may explain why virgins in the valleys are as plentiful as rocking horse shit.
I mean given the choice between getting a bit of a reputation for enjoying the pleasures of the flesh, or being a candidate for sacrifice.......

Friday, June 23, 2006


Continued from the previous post. What kind of guy would park his Vauxhall Astra diagonally over four spaces?
Well Dillon would. He knew there wouldn't be much parking demand on a night shift.
Most people like Dillon. He's a cool guy once you get past the 'he's completely nuts' thing.
An example of his natural insanity, is his dancing with trams Mpeg.
I guess he was swept along with Amsterdam culture, which is better than being swept along by Amsterdam trams.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

He's at it again!

I only noticed Little Miss Naughty as I was driving off to work this morning. In hind sight, I should have stopped and removed her because of the possible consequences.
She did however survive the twenty minute journey at speeds of 70 mph.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Walking on Sunshine

I guess it was ever like this, I just didn't always notice.
I'm almost always aware now, of the ever changing cascade of pleasures and sensations.
The warm glow of friendship and socializing.
Exercising our bodies.
The sights of the changing seasons.
The feel of my cotton shirt against my skin. Bird song. The sun or rain on my face. Aromas of cooking. Tastes, coffee, orange, vanilla, exotic spices and subtle herbs.
Sensations wash over us constantly.
Sometimes it's so overwhelming, I think it would be so hard to die on such a day as this.

I screw up sometimes.
I don't worry enough, take enough care of business.

It's just that it seems worthwhile,
to feel so full of life

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Voice of an Angel, Arse of a Hippo'

It's hard to believe someone dating an internationally acclaimed athlete would grow this big.
She's just had a hot tub installed in their Llandaff home. How low is the water line when she gets out?

Everyone around here has a 'when I met/sang karaoke with' Charlotte Church story.

My favorite is from Trevor Truelove. He was walking out of the millennium Stadium after an international rugby match. To his right, he noticed Charlotte, stopping to spark up a fag. He turned his head to watch her as he continued walking.
She's very short.
Trevor was musing about just how short she was, when he slammed into the side of a police horse.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Toilet Tricks

With the only toilet cubical being right next door to the showers. It’s considered unsociable to do a poo at going home time. It’s bad enough having to share the shower floor with people who urinate, either because they can’t be arsed with the urinal or they simply think it’s funny having their colleagues paddle about in wee.

The usual ‘discouragement’ for late shitters is a hard hat full of cold water thrown over the cubical wall. Other variations include throwing a lit newspaper or flaming glove over.

Feeling desperate but the cubical is engaged?

My favourite is the toilet equivalent of tailgating, standing so close to the toilet door that your feet intrude under the cubical door, whilst saying, “Take your time mate, no rush.”

Big Poo Man has his own toilet trick. It has no purpose but his own amusement.

He takes a pair of old boots and trousers in with him. When he’s finished, he lays the trousers and shoes, such that, from outside, it appears some one is still on the John. The trick is completed by climbing out over the top unobserved.

Having already relieved himself, he can enjoy an afternoon of buttock clenching mates speculating who’s hogging the bog.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Guild Wars - The Internet is for Porn

Many a true word spoken in jest.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Don't ask I don't remember.



Surfer Dude, Fluffy and I have just been causing ourselves a lot of pain by laughing at the final piece of the jig saw puzzle, that had caused us so much stress and arguing last night.
I'm waiting outside the hospital 30mins drive from Pantymonywm. Little Miss has been looking after me. We're both a little confused about the lift home arrangements. I know it's Saturday night and most of our friends are over the alcohol limit. Fluffy has told Little Miss she'll sort out a lift home.
I'm wondering why no one has updated me on my mobile and I'm ringing around trying to find out what's going on.
First I ring Fluffy. As I ring Little Miss's phone rings, she says Hi. I look at her and ask, 'is that Fluffy's phone?'. She says yes.
It turns out, when the police ( I have no recollection of any police) ask if any of us have a phone, I say I've not got mine, even though it's fully charged, full of credit and in my pocket.
My brain, at this stage, is like freshly stirred porrage.
That's why Fluffy gave her phone to Little Miss who took me to hospital.

It only hurts when we laugh.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Little Pranks.

Here it is. The first car I've had in about 10 years that doesn't look like it was found in a ditch.
I didn't put the flames on they just appeared. Last night actually, as I was going out.

And the genitals? Well they just appeared as a thumb nail when I uploaded the camera into the PC. Along with a shot of Surfer Dude apparently butfucking Evil Chicken.

OK, I know it's funny and only mildly annoying. So I'm getting my revenge by blogging it.