i> Away With The Fairies.: January 2008

Monday, January 28, 2008

So Just How Much Money is Out There?

About 20 years ago, 'Rogue Trader', Nick Leeson was a little careless with 1.3 Billion pounds, resulting in the collapse of Barings bank. This is the personal bank to HRH the Queen, that funded the Napolionic war.

Recently, Jerome Kerviel, was similarly, scatty with £3.7Billion pounds of money from Societe Generale.

This is nearly three times as much and yet the French bank still managed to turn a small profit!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Behave Yourselves!

After the anti-whaling activists had been surrendered by the Captain of the Japanese harpoon ship. The eco-warriors then pelted the Japanese ship with stink bombs.

A statement from the whaler, said this was an act of terrorism and the crew of the Steve Irwin were terrorists.

An unconfirmed source, said that a spokesman for the Sea Sheppard Conservation Society is quoted thus,

"I know you are but what am I?"

It is not clear if the captured activists, Benjamin Potts and Giles lane, were forced to eat large insects and had their nipples burned with magnifying lenses.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Cut and Paste.

So school children today belong to the 'cut and paste' generation. School work is completed by cutting and pasting from the Internet. From my experience, that should ideally qualify them for middle management.

Thursday, January 17, 2008


Would that be an anagram of 'Doctor Who' then?

I was persuaded to watch this for the first time last night. I've no idea what it was about but it sure looked like fun.

Starts off with a fish faced guy driving a Chrysler Crossfire. I think he (or is it she or it) is some kind of alien, anyway, 'he' seems to be well acquainted with the highway code and stops at traffic lights. Incidentally, if I had a face like a fish or was an invading alien, I'd probably not choose an open top sports car for transport. Towards the end of the clip, you can tell from 'Fish Face's accent, that he's probably not and alien, but more likely a public school boy. Just goes to show the dangers of upper class in-breeding.

Later, some guy dressed as Adam Ant, clears a pub by armed force and turns out to be the leading mans ex-lover. Lots of violence, marginally adult material and cool imagery will probably have me watching again.

The added fun is trying to work out which part of Cardiff, each scene is shot.

Have you seen it yet? What do you think?

Monday, January 14, 2008

Yeah Right!

The recently published 'The Observer Book of the Body', has listed ten outlandish laws about the body.

  1. In vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
  2. 'Female breasts', according to the Arizona Supreme Court, don't constitute 'private parts'.
  3. In Merryville Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because 'the privilege of admiring th curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal , red blooded American male'.
  4. In Massachusetts, an old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless a special license fee is paid for the privilege of wearing one in public.
  5. In the UK, no boy under the age of 10 may see a naked mannequin.
  6. A pregnant British woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants - even, if she so requests, in a policeman's helmet.
  7. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public unless she works as a clerk in a tropical-fish store.
  8. In Singapore, people are forbidden from walking around their houses naked.
  9. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a womans genitals but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination; he may only see their reflection in a mirror.
  10. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.
I seem to recall hearing about '6' when I was a boy, but I'm convinced they made up '7'.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Dean Parish

Everyone loves a good story especially if it has a feel good factor.

Dean Parish.

Unspectacular career.

Made a few discs in the early '60's that didn't raise his profile very far.
Recently he was working as a session musician and playing in wedding bands as a side line. As a consequence of his wedding work he gets a part in the TV Mob drama series, 'The Sopranos'. Apart from that, he more or less slipped off the radar.

Until he got a call from a private eye working for a promoter in the UK.

Parish is gob smacked to find he has a massive following in the UK's Northern Soul scene.

By now he's forgotten his songs and has to buy some off ebay to re-aquant himself.

When he gets to Wigan Casino he can't believe the thousands of people that have turned out, all passionate about his music.

But the biggest shock, is finding out that the audience is predominately white. Whilst his audience were shocked to find that Dean Parish, is also white.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

JahEly (The Streets)

This is my eldest daughter, Flicks, neighbor, JahEly.

Sounds pretty good to me. I've certainly heard a lot worse on Radio One recently.

Ely is a council estate in West Cardiff.

Olga Kurylenko

The new bond girl has clearly fallen arse over tit for Tickersoid.

I found this out when chatting to her, outside my local, when she nipped out for a crafty fag.

I hope it doesn't end badly, like the last time a lady had a big crush on me.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Nu In Bu Big Tins Comin Acha

I’ve spent the last couple of nights listening to BBC Radio 1, loudly, on a powerful stereo, with the bass on full.

Yes I know, it’s probably something to do with a late life crisis, like getting my motorcycle licence recently.

There’s a surprising amount of good music coming out of the ‘kids’ station. Yes, some of it is dire, irritating and shouty, and some of the mixing is overdone, but like most stations it plays good and bad. I find it rewarding to expose myself to fresh material now and again.

But the most surprising thing about R1 is the quality of the Disc Jockeys. It would seem that to qualify as an R1 DJ, one must first have a particular irritating and unattractive voice and talk in an unrecognisable and extreme variation of a regional accent such as Jafakan, at a speed that requires extreme concentration from the listener. However, should you be prepared, as I was, to concentrate and listen, you’ll be rewarded with a stunning realisation.

They talk utter gibberish.

Tony Blackburn and Dave Lee Travis were inclined to witter on a bit but they would turn in their graves at today’s lot. (were it not for the fact that those elder masters of pop, aren’t actually dead yet)

With such a poor command of English, it’s surprising they can get any kind of job without being Eastern European crop pickers, let alone a prestigious well paid one.

I’ve never heard anyone talk like this, it’s some kind of Ali G parody.

Take the title.

“Nu’n bu’ big t’ins comin’ a’cha.”

That was one of the few lines I understood. The rest seemed to employ words you won’t find in any dictionary or words in inappropriate contexts (or vice verca) , grammar from another planet and an absence of content in favour of style (or should that be stylee). Who really want’s to know that Sharon has texted in to say she’s painting her toe nails with her friend Karen?

Worse still, being the BBC, there aren’t any adverts, so the gibber seems endless.

So if any Radio One MC’s are reading this.

Just shut up and play something!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Well Done Funny Thing!

Well done Funny Thing. Good to know you're still around. There have been those, who've mourned your loss to me.

Porthmeirion. Scene of the outside shots, from the cult '60's TV series 'The Prisoner' which grossed 11 million viewers at it's peek. I suspect that most of them, like myself, only watched to try and figure out what the hell it was all about.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

I Am Not a Number, I Am a Free Man!

Guess where Tickers has been?

The answer isn't 'in prison' but it's close.