i> Away With The Fairies.: January 2007

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Precious Moments.

Having stuffed ourselves at Pizza Hut, we’re driving home on a concrete duel carriagway in the dark. I peel a wad of chewing gum off the dashboard and pop it into my mouth.

“Daaaad, That’s gross!” Little Miss’s face is contorted with disapproval.

“What?” I ask in mock ignorance.

“That’s got to be full of germs.”

“How so?”

“From the dust on your dash board for a start.”

“Nothing wrong with dust, the moon is full of it, but you don’t find any sick people there do you?”

“That’s because they’ve all died from dust germs!” She shouts emphatically.

We’re both laughing heartily now and exchanging glances.
I smile inwardly with pleasure and pride.

Dat’s ma gurl.

Friday, January 19, 2007

10 things I thought would never come to pass

  1. The end of the cold war and break up of USSR.
  2. End of Aparthied.
  3. French companies owning British water companies. We always regarded the French as having the worlds worst plumbing.
  4. British people buying bottled water. Clean water comes out of the tap, why pay for bottled?
  5. British people paying more for bottled water than they do for Coke.
  6. An incredibly vulnerable tunnel being dug from England to France.
  7. Widespread use by women, of huge four wheel drive vehicles, used to take children to school and day care.
  8. Local authorities sealing dirt roads to make them smoother then fabricating humps to slow the traffic down.
  9. Affordable and accurate race car simulation games available to all children. WOW!!!
  10. Someone like George W Bush becoming American President.
My thanks to Fuckkit for the photograph.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The Famous Five go Walking.

There is a certain appeal to joining the boys on a walk over the Brecon Beacons. Mostly to do with camaraderie and male bonding. In the event I had too much work on and didn't fancy breaking in a brand new pair of walking boots on a seven mile hike.
Ed was so caught up in the whole camaraderie thing that he offered to make everyone a curry on our first twelve hour shift back today.
He called up Nillips and asked him to dish up.
Unfortunately for Ed, Nillips assumed the chef had taken his portion first. Ed didn't find out until the other four had polished off their inflated shares.


I haven't been watching Celebrity Big Brother, so I can't comment on weather Jade Goody is part of a racist or bullying ring against that very pretty Bollywood actress what'serface. I'm sure Jade, whose career is precariously based on being ordinary and natural in front of the camera with an endearing ignorace of just about everything, would be horrified to know she's being vilified in the press both here and in India and that her antics have sparked an international incident, with questions being asked in the house (Commons not Big Brother).
My suspicion is that she's unwittingly playing out some known sociological phenomena that the BB producers should already be aware of. It's ironic that she's one of the most famous of the celebrities and only so for winning the plebs Big Brother.
What the poor girl doesn't realise, is that bullying is only acceptable, and even encouraged, on reality TV shows, if it's being performed by us, the viewing public, on victims in some God forsaken part of an Australian Jungle.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

It's Gym Life, But Not As We Know It.

For those of us with the right attitude, the gym is a haven, an oasis of spirituality. For us, this is no stressful penance paid in the hope of a better body but a wonderful expression of physicality which induces a flow of endorphines. Add to this, the joy of your MP3 kicking out your favorite tunes and it's easy to see how gym attendance can become an addiction. After 90 minutes or so, when your body is telling you to stop, there is the pool, hot tub, sauna and steam rooms. Finish off with the warm caress of a thick fluffy towel and you're ready for anything. Relaxed, clean and calm. Every other aspect of your life seems easier now.
It's no surprise, with all this physicality that ones thoughts during a work out turn to sex. There is always that 'hot' person stretching or working out. You can't help but look. I've found my self on occasions, imagining licking the sweat, of the spine, of the lady, on the cycle in front of me.
The paradox is it's not arousing. I can't ever claim to have been aroused whilst working out. It's as if the body targets the blood resources to the muscles leaving the penis and brain a little short. Even, as happened on one occasion, when a romantic encounter was cancelled at the last moment, after I'd already taken the Viagra.
It completely slipped my mind.
Not until I'm showering naked and the warm jets of water are dancing on my cock, do I get a stiff reminder of my pharmaceutical folly.
Which is a bit embarrassing in a public shower.
Even more so in one shared with small children.
I cut my shower short and grab the contents of my locker just in time to avoid detection.