i> Away With The Fairies.: August 2008

Sunday, August 31, 2008

How to Look a Complete Twat at the Morning Meeting.

Lock the door of your ground floor office overnight but leave the window open.

Leave your hard hat, complete with integral ear muffs and sweat band, within arms reach of the window.

The night shift boys will ensure that, if you use your hat to visit the plant for an update prior to the morning meeting, you'll walk in to it with black ears and a black forehead.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

3.30 am

It's 3.30 am. We've suffered a minor technical problem and the crew are busy going through the possible causes, liaising between control cabins and conducting investigations. Even with expansive checks and many decades of experience, the complexity of the plant can throw up previously encountered problems.

Digler rises to his feet purposefully, and flicks the tanoy microphone to untangle the curly cable. In light of our recent conversation I'm a little puzzled as to what he's going to say. Twisting slightly he places the mic' between the cheeks of his arse and lets out a loud slow wet fart. He squeezes the last of the noxious gas's from his bowl, it's forced wet squeaks echoing around the hard surfaces of the production facility. He then returns to more serious issue in hand with a self satisfied grin.

"How old are you?" I say in mock chastisement.

We smile at each other, the big, wide, knowing smile.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Trouble at Tickers Towers.

One learns from ones mistakes.

If your saving money by living on baked beens, it's wise not to try lighting your farts.