Steel Workers Talk Cars
"Car door key?" Dirk enquires with genuine confusion.
With the sigh of someone resigned to starting from first principals Spider continues.
"Remember when cars used to need a key to open the doors?"
After a short pause, Dirk's expression changes from quizzical to enlightened.
"AAAAhh right, I'm with you........blimey, it's been a long time since I had a car that needed a key to get in."
Tickersoid, "I've yet to own a car that doesn't need a key to get in."
Just then the control cabin door opens and in comes Morris, grinning.
Spider, "Oi! What've you done to my buttie Gymboy? He's come to work all white and trembling."
"You've heard then?" Morris chuckles.
Harry, "Why what happened?"
Morris, " We were following a car that turned left into a side road, then immediately swung right to do a 'U' turn. He obviously didn't see us until his car was blocking my lane when he slammed the brakes on. I swerved to the right clipping his car......."
Harry, "Any damage?"
Morris, "Yeh, all four side panels either scraped or dented.......I swerved right in front of an oncoming young girl in a green Ford Fiesta. By the horrified look on her face she was filling her knickers."
Harry, "Did you take a picture with your phone?"
Morris, "What of her shitting her pants?" he teased, "No, he pulled up behind where we'd stopped so there was no point. Solicitor he was."
Harry, "That's it then, you'll be stitched up."
Spider, "Yeah, it'll all be your fault."
Gymboy "It's all right, he's got a witness, me."
Harry, "Doesn't count, you're not independent."
Spider, "That's right, in his version, you'll be swerving down the road, talking on your mobile phone....."
Spider loves a wind up but Morris isn't biting.
Morris, " Yeah, whilst trying to light a cigarette....."
Tickersoid, ".......and changing a cassette."
Everyone looks at me in disbelief.
Spider, "Changing a cassette?"
I'm starting to feel like an anachronism. "OK, advancing your Ipods or whatever."
Tickersoid, "I can remember, back in the '60's, they used to make vinyl record players for cars. They didn't work very well, but they were available."
Spider, " I bet they had a few coins on the playing arm to stop it jumping."
Tickersoid, "......or a knob of placeticene....or just your knob...."
It seemed funny at the time I said it, but a second later, it didn't work or make any sense. Morris picks up on this,
"How are you going to listen to music with your knob on the playing arm?" He bows his knees and thrusts out his groin to create an image of absurdity.
Tickersoid, "Hey butt', it's not about the music."
All the characters and events described in this post, are fictional and any resemblance to persons either live or dead or events is purely coincidental.
Butt' or Buttie = Friend or buddy.