i> Away With The Fairies.: February 2008

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Cambridge University

I've got a kind of smart arse tourettes. If a remotely funny, smug remark drops into my head, it's very rarely I can stop myself blurting it out, even at the most inappropriate times.

We're taking a tour of Churchill College Cambridge. In the library I spot a hideous sculpture. A kind of griffiny, deamony sort of thing with a stupid face. I try desparately not to say something derogatory. Think of something nice about it, I will myself.
No sooner had the answer popped into my head than it popped out of my mouth.

In the hushed corridore of this learned place I chirp,

"Nice arse!"

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Exeter University

My youngest daughter, Little Miss and I have spent quite a lot of time together recently. Mostly making our way through a box set of, ''Allo 'Allo.' I missed it first time around and she wasn't born.

Last weekend we visited Exeter University. She wasn't impressed, too many hills.

We pass a sculpture of a knight like figure. It holds a sword aloft at arms length. The statue is made as a kind of steel framework with the shape of a Norman helmet suggesting the head's eyes and nose.

"Coolio" I exclaim enthusiastically trying to sound pathetically hip.

Little Miss, grumpy from the hill walking replys,

"You could say 'Coolio' or another word might be 'crap'." She offers.

"You think? I like it. Bet it'll be great when it's finished."

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Bridgend Suicides.

Tickersoid, "What do you reckon on these Bridgend suicides then?"
Spider, " The press say it's an Internet based, fashionable thing to do."
Tickersoid, "When has suicide been fashionable? If that were the case, why isn't there a 'spider plant effect, why aren't there suicides in other places?"
Spider, "Spider plant effect? You just made that up. There's no such phrase."
Mongo, "Yeah, you could have called it a straw bury plant effect."
Tickersoid, "But Strawbury isn't as sinister as spider plant."

Meanwhile, Leggy texts in,

"I'm stuck in Bridgend, My car's broken down. Can you rescue me. Bring a tow rope. Can't buy rope around here for love nor money."

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Naked Girls Show Bush.

Click on the image to enlarge. Pity that doesn't work on my penis.

I'm having problems with my email at the moment, due to a change to Virgin Media.
My new address is stuart.tickersoid@virgin.net Which ever address you use, doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to receive it.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Nice Girls Don't............

I've been hearing some bizare tales of boys on rugby tour. Some of the people involved are known to me (Shagger).

The first is a sweet, two boys meet two girls story. They spent the night together in a double hotel room and everything went very well. The respective boys liked the respective girls and vice verce. In the morning, the boys left early for breakfast and let the ladies sleep in. The girls, being much impressed, left a note, thanking them for a wonderful evening and suggesting they meet up again, then slipped out leaving the door slightly ajar.

Before the lads had returned for breakfast, another of the rugby boys had snooped around the room, found the note and using his imagination and bowls, did a swirly turd in the ash tray, then stood the note upright in the poo.

Having devoured their bacon and eggs, the two lover boys returned, only to be completely baffled by the mixed messages the girls had apparently left them.