God is a Bastard.
Just a thought, having just read Fuckkit's post referring to 'fat armpits' (does she mean bingo wings?)
Why can't women, only lay down fat in their tits and arse.
If everything else stayed the same, especially their waist, they wouldn't loose anything in attractiveness.
similarly, men might start collecting fat in their willys. maybe progressing to their nuts.
OK it might have prematurely curbed my 'phone box leaping but surly that's a small price to pay.
Why can't women, only lay down fat in their tits and arse.
If everything else stayed the same, especially their waist, they wouldn't loose anything in attractiveness.
similarly, men might start collecting fat in their willys. maybe progressing to their nuts.
OK it might have prematurely curbed my 'phone box leaping but surly that's a small price to pay.
My conclusion is the title of this post.
posted by Tickersoid at 4:16 PM
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45 Comments:
Ooh. So close to being first. At least I beat that fat armpitted Fuckkit!
You can keep your fat willy, Tickers (and your 'nads) - Who wants a podgy shaft?
I can't believe I've gotten in on this one so early. I have also reached the same conclusion on God's inclination toward being a bastard.
I have noticed with my weightloss lately that when deprived of calories, my body much prefers the yummy, tasty fat cells in my breasts rather than the large quantities available in my ass. (One is shrinking at a much faster rate than the other)
It be great if men were more apt to get a beer willie rather than a beer belly?
I have such a gross image in my head of a fat willy with rolls hanging around the bottom. eWWW. No Tickers, that is one place you don't want it.
You've just managed to gross me out completely with this post. :-)
How did you do that?
Shifty- Yay shifty's back. I dunno, I thought he created all this stuff. That's what they taught me at Sunday school.
IDV- I suppose the downside would be, by the time you get to my age, your tackle would be dragging behind you.
Shandi- You've given me a thought. Why do so many 'hot hatchback' cars have the slogan, 'Fat Willy' emblazened on the back?
Kyah- I was fine with the post until you detailed the image for me. Now I'm grossed out.
what the hell is a bingo wing?
Thanks kyahgirl (can't find your blog, btw) 'cause now I'm envisioning a peepee with cellulite. Ew.
Well quite, and bollocks with cellulite - and or stretch marks on your tits. All really horrid!
phlegmfatale-go to my blogger profile and click on the link to 'my website' on the left hand side under 'contact'.
if you come now you might not like it, I'm having a rather cathartic vomiting session. Should be done in a few days. :-)
*smothers IDV in armpit fat*
Oops, sorry about the stubble rash.
If all the fat went to our tits, babies would need to be born with terribly large mouths.
i see the value in men having all the fat go to their knobs. in time things would grow so saggy that men would easily be able to lick their own testicles.
every man's dream, jungle jane. Reminds me of a joke, but I'll spare you!
oh, and I still don't know what bingo wings be.
Big Balls (AC/DC)
some balls are held for charity
and some for fancy dress
but when they're held for pleasure
they're the balls that I like best
my balls are always bouncing
to the left and to the right
it's my belief that my big balls
should be held every night
Well...God has certainly blessed me. Yeah, my tummy is not what it used to be, but gosh darnit if I ain't proud of the two sisters that float up north.
Phlegm- Bingo wing, the jiggly flesh found under the upper arms of 'ladies of a certain age'. The 'wing' is prone to mexican wave style movements when hailing a taxi.
Lippy- It could take the wringkles out of ones scrote on the was up in weight. Ultimately it would all get a bit space hopperish.
Fewclewz- With a bit of thought these things can be accomodated.
Kyah- Blimey Mother Hens place, gone!!!
Fuckkit- Rather him than me.
Jane- Testicle licking a bonus.
MJ- Thanks for the cultural interlude.
Xtasy- Very few tummys survive the multiple kiddy pumpout. Your puppies are your compensaton.
I used to be able to lick my balls. Another little pleasure lost in the sands of time now tho' . . .
He's not a bastard, he's a cunt.
Wicked sense of humour though.
And I can't believe Shifty was bloody first!
Ick... Aaggg... Blech!
It's like being trapped in a damp, prickly duvet!
Help! Help! Let me out!
God's a bastard? A man more like.
*checks to see if his cock's any fatter*
Frobe- Really! Im impressed!! I could just about get my foreskin in my teeth when i was younger, but that was it.
Piggy and Tazzy- She was first, but she's pffftt me, I've never been pffftt before.
I'm a little worried to be honest. she's not one to be messed with ya know.
IDV- Quick nurse! Fetch the screens!! We have to perform and emergency worlockectomy.
Qenny- I've gone off my 'gods a bastard' theory. I mean he does try to put it on bums and tits but we over indulge so much, it has to be evenly distributed everywhere else. Fewclewz point is valid.
Lets just say he works in mysterious ways.
oh, undesireably wobbly bits, bingo wings. Yuck.
OH, and I just want to point out that I've broken the seal and am now blogging from the office 'cause I scheduled today off three months ago but Napoleon Hitler thought the phone might ring sometime today and gawd, what would people do if they dialed up to a recording? grrrrrrr. He's in Boston, else I'd be sending withering glances his way. Thanks. I just needed to vent.
You have a point! Then we would only have to perform one type of exercise to burn off the fat, and wouldn't that be fun!
There would also be extra protection from the cold!
if there was a god, fewclewz, I would have the day off as per schedule.
Phlegm- And, If there was a God, all the psychopaths and mad dictators, and Napolion Hitlers, would only live in a parrallel universe under the rule of Lord Archer.
Ickle- Protection from the cold. Hadn't thought this through, the whole point of scrotes is cooling. Bugger.
Fewclewz- And he'd ban religion. All of it. Even his own.
ickle - protection from the cold? Scary if it were large enough to drape around and wear as a self-kilting feature. With a bit of ingenuity one might even fashion a sporrin for oneself. But pressing in the pleats would be a bitch.
if there was a god, i wouldn't have the clap...
...and if there really was a god then he would make the only effective means of losing excess fat from your manhood to be, erm, vigorous exercise, 5 times a night.
I would find a man with 50lb nuts extremely attractive - especially if he needed a wagon to carry them around in. Niiiicceee!
PO
Good grief - all this talk has made go and opt for salad instead of chips.
has that bastard done away with you then? come out, come out whereever you are!!
*pokes Tickers*
Listen buddy, only one blogging god at a time gets to have a break and its my fucking turn ok?
Ok?
Yeah!
* Can't believe I'm agreeing with Fuckkit *
hear! hear!
Ok, I promise a new post tonight.
Anyway, don't listen to Fuckkit, she doesn't know her arse from her elbow.
but fuckkit knows cake, and that's all that really matters!
It's tonight already and I'm not seeing anything new.
* Leaves tutting and sighing about the youth of today *
Sorry I've got half way through and accidently deleted it because I'm shit at multitasking.
I'm too tired to do it now, so you'll have to wait until morning.
Fewclewz please do the world a favour and use your influence to get Mr The-Dog-Ate-My-Blogpost to update his blog??
Fewclewz it might help if you stand on the outside of the box and feed him grapes??
Tag you're it! Sorry to do this to you Tickers, but I could always learn more about ya. Come out and play.
See Fewclewz...i told you grapes would work...
I can't get rid of the flapppppping bat wings, especially since I have lost weight.
I'm impressed with your site, very nice graphics!
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