The Inner Thoughts of Baby Tinker.
This post was inspired by 'awaiting xtasy'.
There, I think I've got the hang of this crawling lark. Let's see, head down watch the limbs.
Yes! Left foot, right hand, then right foot, left hand.
Brilliant!!!!
Just think of the possibilities. I won't have to scream if I don't like where I am. Just crawl away to somewhere nice.
Ohhh and what about all those corners of the room I've never been to, or if I see something new, I could just crawl up to it and put it in my mouth. Fantastic!!
I could start with all those cupboards Mum fishes shiny things out of in the kitchen. I wonder what else is in them? I could empty all the stuff out onto the floor then I'd know. Easy, 'cos I can crawl now. Freedom! Brilliant!
I'll do it right now.
Don't need Mum.
Lets see, head down and watch, left foot, right hand, then right foot, left hand.
*Bangs head on kitchen door frame*
Fuck!
Where's Mum?
Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
---------------------
A week later......
Look at me! I'm standing. Oops, bit of a wobble there. Concentrate Baby Tinks.
OK, not proper standing, but I have taken one hand away from the play pen. Reckon I'll be able to do it properly with a bit of practice.
Wooaah, nearly lost it then but I'm definitely getting better.
I'll be able to reach the kitchen draws and find more cool stuff to bite.
Yes, I'm hardly wobbling at all now.
Look at me!
Wait a minute.
What's that up there? Haven't seen that before.
*Falls like a sack of shit*
There, I think I've got the hang of this crawling lark. Let's see, head down watch the limbs.
Yes! Left foot, right hand, then right foot, left hand.
Brilliant!!!!
Just think of the possibilities. I won't have to scream if I don't like where I am. Just crawl away to somewhere nice.
Ohhh and what about all those corners of the room I've never been to, or if I see something new, I could just crawl up to it and put it in my mouth. Fantastic!!
I could start with all those cupboards Mum fishes shiny things out of in the kitchen. I wonder what else is in them? I could empty all the stuff out onto the floor then I'd know. Easy, 'cos I can crawl now. Freedom! Brilliant!
I'll do it right now.
Don't need Mum.
Lets see, head down and watch, left foot, right hand, then right foot, left hand.
*Bangs head on kitchen door frame*
Fuck!
Where's Mum?
Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
---------------------
A week later......
Look at me! I'm standing. Oops, bit of a wobble there. Concentrate Baby Tinks.
OK, not proper standing, but I have taken one hand away from the play pen. Reckon I'll be able to do it properly with a bit of practice.
Wooaah, nearly lost it then but I'm definitely getting better.
I'll be able to reach the kitchen draws and find more cool stuff to bite.
Yes, I'm hardly wobbling at all now.
Look at me!
Wait a minute.
What's that up there? Haven't seen that before.
*Falls like a sack of shit*
posted by Tickersoid at 2:23 PM
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24 Comments:
Fuck! where's Mum?
THAT'S what babies are thinking? hmmm, interesting!
*Bangs head on kitchen door frame*
That is sooo like something one of my babes would do....It amazes me that they actually learned to crawl and walk and suffered no brain damage!
Tick, you make an excellent writer, I must say!
Kyah- Well they can't speak, so I have to translate into adult language. I think it's valid.
xtasy- Thank you.
*blushes*
Aw, bless! Much, much better than "Look Who's Talking"!
LOL this makes kids seem a LOT more adorable than they actually are!
All bollocks!!! You clearly made this up whilst in a drunken stupor; either that or Alchopops was giving a running commentary while you crawled around the floor in a drunken stupor.
WTF? Have you made everything bigger or have my cataracts gone into remission?
Oh, and 'Up yours, Fuckkit'
* thbbbbttppththbbbttp *
P.S. Babies are stupid
I have EXACTLY that thought process when I've drunk too many of mum's Alcopops...
Qenny- Good God I'm a twat. Thought it was something original but of course it's all been done before. I haven't watched that movie so didn't think.
Jay- I think you may be right there. Especially for some one like you.
Convict- It's amazing the similarities between babies and drunk old men. Fat, Bald, shit and piss themselves, cry for attention, belch.
IDV- What an great attempt at spelling a rasberry. I think you've pulled if off.
Pixie- We've all been there. Fairy's are no different.
Has anyone seen my Alocpops??
awwww, poor baby!
OK off topic, I know I'm slow , but clearly tickersoid is an anagram, not getting very far, but your first name is definatley Otis! *g*
Jane- No, try asking Pixie Sprinkles.
Phlegm- Poor baby indeed.
Lippy- It's not an anagram, it's a hybrid. Tickerty-boo and Freekasoid.
the lark descending
You can thank Calvin & Hobbes for the spelling!
I like this babies way of thinking. Time for me to go and stand in corners i've never stood in before and revel in the novalty. Goodbye!
I like the idea of crawling everywhere.
If I remembered to do it on my way home at night, maybe I wouldn't wake up with stones stuck in my nose...
You forgot the best part; the milk smorgasborg.
Erm...
I notice I'm visitor number 4889, according to the site counter.
I contemplated pressing 'refresh' to make sure I was visitor 5000 and see if I would win a prize or something, but it'd take too long.
Yay! I'm visitor number 5000!
That didn't take long at all once I discovered that I could copy and paste the image address into the address bar and just refresh the wee picture!
*naughty Pigster*
*awaits prize*
It's 5017 here. You've overtaken me, Tickers - a long time ago, actually...
Phlegm- Nope, you've lost me there.
IDV- I don't worry too much about spelling on blogs. I'm rubbish at it anyway.
Ickle_Bro- Gosh you know how to live.
Funny Thing- Yes, It's only 90 min's crawl from town to your place. I've timed it.
Tfg- I'm not familiar with that. Do tell.
P&T- Bog off you're not getting a prize.
You just get this-
YEAY, 5000th.
WELL DONE PIGGY AND TAZZY!
IDV- That's only because you have a life and don't live next to the keyboard.
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