It wasn't me!
One hour into this mornings shift and the radio crackles into life.
"Hello Mannering, A fire 's broken out in zone x on the furnace."
"Tickers, you been up on the furnace?"
End of shift went tits up. I had to do butch, sweaty, dirty stuff. Told not to bother getting a shower as the water's cold. Then the bloody Skoda wouldn't start.
I finally get home and say hi to my eldest daughter Fluffy and her best friend Alchopops.
I ripped the pull off a lager can.
As I put it to my lips, Alchopops purrs,
"I must say, I just love what you've done to your kitchen."
"Hello Mannering, A fire 's broken out in zone x on the furnace."
"Tickers, you been up on the furnace?"
End of shift went tits up. I had to do butch, sweaty, dirty stuff. Told not to bother getting a shower as the water's cold. Then the bloody Skoda wouldn't start.
I finally get home and say hi to my eldest daughter Fluffy and her best friend Alchopops.
I ripped the pull off a lager can.
As I put it to my lips, Alchopops purrs,
"I must say, I just love what you've done to your kitchen."
posted by Tickersoid at 9:11 PM
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13 Comments:
cheeky!
:-)
have a few more drinks, the kitchen will look better and better then.
Thank you. I have, and it does.
I agree with kyahgirl....a little alcohol goes a long way...if it can make the toilet-faced chick at the bar look like Miss Universe, it can work wonders on your kitchen!
She's good, you have to give her that.
Just take your specs off and forget about it for a bit!
Brace yourself Tickers. Shifty's gonna come over all unneccessary when she reads about you being all dirty, sweaty & butch. She might not be the only one...
* goes for a lie down *
Xtasy- 'Toilet faced chick'
I like that.
Traci- You're right Fluffy is a good foriegn name, I think it comes from somewhere classy like Ibiza.
Lippy- Alchopops can be a very funny lady. God knows what cock ups I'd make with out my glasses.
IDV- No chance of that, she's too busy with her new job. Not a well women you know.
I guess one good thing about hanging out with you would be that you would never be short of a flame to light your fag.
Your life is beginning to sound like an episode of AbFab. What a great comment from Alchopops.
so did the beer spray out your nose? Tell all.
Tell her you got the idea from the March edition of the Home Arsonist.
Pixi- Always look on the bright side I say. Almost worth the inferno for a quick 'spark up'.
Shifty- That's pretty much along the lines of what Biker Girl said.
Little Miss also said something similar in her last post at 'Have you ever wondered'
Visiting your place was my pleasure.
Biker Girl- Welcome back! I've missed you. I think the damage is only about £3000 to £7000 depending on how much of the unburnt kitchen can be matched up.
Snooze- As people get to know me they soon start to see a pattern of muppetry. Alchopops is one of the smartest most perseptive people I know. She's also very funny.
Phlegm- Yes, I forgot to mention the beer out of nose thing. It was going to be the last line but being a muppet, I forgot.
Tfg- Lol. I wish I'd thought of that.
100darkangels: The disaster is already happening!
The builders are comming in after the bank holiday. Insurance job.
Shifty's right, I'm not safe to be left on my own.
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