You have - One - Message.
My regular readers will be familiar with my fun with 'wrong numbers'. Well, I had an answerphone message today that went like this,
"Hi love, it's Joe. Just 'phoning to say....erm...I may be having an 'Anne Summers' party on Saturday. Aunt Hellen's coming. I've got a few of the girls coming. If you want to come, no boys allowed sorry, ...er..Your more than welcome. I shall 'phone your mobile, if not I will speak to you soon. Love you. Byeeeeee."
It might be the 'Joe' mentioned in my post 'Morning after the night before'. I haven't given her my number so how did she call me?
Anyway, I need you to, first, tell me what number I have to ring to find out who called, and secondly, I need your suggestions as to how I should respond for maximum comedic effect. The best suggestion may be the subject of a follow up post.
edit.
Bugger, I remembered the number 1471. I found someone called half an hour later, number witheld, either that or my answerphone clock is wrong. If it is a different call, how can I find out who the penultimate caller was?
---------------------
I came down stairs after a good blog, and found Evil Chicken had removed a package out of my sports bag and was ripping it to pieces. The package contained generic viagra with a street value of £300. I'd bought it for a 'friend'. Honest.
Luckily, she hadn't eaten any of the contents.
"Hi love, it's Joe. Just 'phoning to say....erm...I may be having an 'Anne Summers' party on Saturday. Aunt Hellen's coming. I've got a few of the girls coming. If you want to come, no boys allowed sorry, ...er..Your more than welcome. I shall 'phone your mobile, if not I will speak to you soon. Love you. Byeeeeee."
It might be the 'Joe' mentioned in my post 'Morning after the night before'. I haven't given her my number so how did she call me?
Anyway, I need you to, first, tell me what number I have to ring to find out who called, and secondly, I need your suggestions as to how I should respond for maximum comedic effect. The best suggestion may be the subject of a follow up post.
edit.
Bugger, I remembered the number 1471. I found someone called half an hour later, number witheld, either that or my answerphone clock is wrong. If it is a different call, how can I find out who the penultimate caller was?
---------------------
I came down stairs after a good blog, and found Evil Chicken had removed a package out of my sports bag and was ripping it to pieces. The package contained generic viagra with a street value of £300. I'd bought it for a 'friend'. Honest.
Luckily, she hadn't eaten any of the contents.
posted by Tickersoid at 10:52 AM
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20 Comments:
Gosh lungfung, you were quick. I was putting in an edit when I checked it you were already there.
I like the names of your pets.
Evil Chicken is a poodle.
Maybe I could just record it and play it onto a married friends answerphone.
My jack russell terrier has been overturning the paper shredder bin and pawing through it lately. There's nothing more ferocious than a ravenous little bitch on the prowl!
sorry to ignore your urgent question for a second steel worker but I must really ask lungfung-what is up with your panties in that avatar? Are those crabs flying out of there? flashes of light? So very interesting!!
:-)
I was wondering if they were crabs too. Ewwwwww, the dirty bitch!
Anyway Steeleroid, you'll be pleased to know you've got a 'special' mention on the Podcast! (and Karaoke Karen too!).
Darn, I was hoping for a tale of your trip to the emergency room after the Viagra episode.
Hmmm. I think lungfung's avatar is a commentary on Paris Hilton or something, how strange. I shall be back with a witty comment for you tickersoid, right now I am pondering the possible evils of Poodles on Viagra.
Y'know I'm not sure you can find out who the penultimate caller is thus rendering your second question null and void.
phlegmfatal- nasty little things, Jack Russels, yours looks so cute though.
Kyahgirl- I think 'qchique' may be onto something. Oh, btw, I liked your 'wavy arm thing' comment on FT's blog.
P&T- The emergency room. We're on first name terms now.
Thanks for the 'mensh'. Dont know If I should tell F.K.K. about it.
qchique- 'Avatar' Good word, I'll write that down. Manifistation of Hindu deity or 3D representation in cyber space.
Is it Paris Hilton? I loved her book, 'Paris Hilton, My Stuggle'.
fuckkit- Bit of a 'damp squib' then, that post. I'll have to fall back on 'willy' stories. ( fall back, willy, yes I know )
Still if anyone can think of a reply for purely academic discussion, it will be appreciated.
Paris Hilton My Stuggle?
I didn't know she had a 'stuggle'.
Of cours, I meant, 'Struggle'.
The word 'Stuggle' is just crying out for a definition. Any suggestions?
How about 'An unexpected and slightly startelling fold of skin found on a vaginal entrance'.
Damnit, I was trying to get out of having to think of something suitably witty and clever in answer to your second question.
I look forward to more willy stories, prehaps with pictures for that added entertainment?
I'm working on a semi-serious post at the moment. I had edited out the willy bit but I think I'll put the willy back in just for you.
'Put the willy back in just for you'
I bet you don't get told that very often.
I had a dog once that stole a couple of hundred quids-worth of laxatives from a guy's bag (he had some kind of stomach cancer) and ate the lot.
You can imagine the rest.
Oh no! I've got this image in my mind of a small dog, spiralling round the room like a deflating balloon, muck spreading as it goes.
Another fine image courtesy of Tickersoid ;)
I had crabs once. What really pissed me off was still being a virgin at the time.
thank you lungfung and all. You've given me a great laugh this morning.
Love the image of funny thing's dog. Poor thing!
sorry, I didn't really notice til now that you've changed your user name to tickersoid. Ok, I'm with the program. Bit slow, me.
sorry, I didn't really notice til now that you've changed your user name to tickersoid. Ok, I'm with the program. Bit slow, me.
And now, without the aid of a safety net, I will attempt to put links in comments text.
He's got to be a bit gay.
There, I've done it. I know you lot figured it out ages ago, but I'm quite proud of myself.
Bugger! I thought I'd done it. It looks like a link but isn't.
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