i> Away With The Fairies.: The Village Idiot.

Friday, March 10, 2006

The Village Idiot.

I remember my father showing me a cracked and dog eared black and white photograph of his home town, village idiot. He explained how such characters were common in those days. Just accepted. Now they are mostly institutionalized. Except those tragic individuals from urban areas, who became victims of 'care in the community'. The scheme, whereby needy people were simply turfed out of mental hospitals to save money.

Most villagers, including my self, aren't comfortable calling Abey Repeat the village idiot. It seems disrespectful to someone we think kindly of.
It has oft' been said, that when he dies ( he must be in his 70's ), his funeral will be the most well attended of us all. You see, he spends every day walking around the hills an villages nearby, always repeating a recently heard phrase, such as,

"Ho ho ho! Santa Clause is comming. Hello 'Tickers' Santa Clause is comming, isn't he?"

He knows everyone's names, nothing wrong with his memory. Every one knows Abey Repeat. Few, if any of us, are so well known.

I'm not sure what's wrong with him. Some say, they heard he once drank bleach as a kid. No one really knows.
He seems aware he's liked but only in small doses. Like us all, he still wants company, so he spreads himself thinly.

I said he knows everyone's names. That's not entirely true. When I first moved here three years ago, he always called my girlfriend at the time, 'Mrs Roberts'. We saw no reason to correct him.
After we broke up, my sister moved in for a while.
He called her 'Mrs Roberts'
I started dating my first and only Afro'Carrabian lady.
He called her 'Mrs Roberts'.
I just assumed he couldn't tell the difference, even though Fabienne was black and the others white.
Until one day, he bumped into me, as I was locking my front door.

"How's Mrs Roberts?" He politely enquired.

"Very well thank you, Abe"

Then he surprised me by asking,

"That's three 'Mrs Roberts' you've got now, isn't it?"

"Yes Abe" I smiled, "I'm a lucky guy."

The story goes, when his brother died he was institutionalized. Cried every day. The locals protested, signed a petition. The authorities relented and got him a home and full time carer. The carer always makes sure Abey is smartly dressed.

I've heard said he's a 'flasher'. Most, including myself, reckon the sightings in the woods, of Abe with his sizeable 'tool' in hand, are the inevitable consequece of a simple man who wanders. Must need to find an outlet for those tense feelings.

Some time ago, I was looking out of my front bedroom window. I was hoping to see a neighbours car so I could have a chat.
From my right, I could hear Abey talking to himself.
From my left, came a car driving slowly through the narrow road. It drew up next to Abe and the window wound down. Abe approached the window and bent his head to listen. After a short while, and with his head still bent, he started to give the following directions.

"You go straight down here." His right arm made a chopping action, indicating straightness and direction.

"You go straight down here." he repeated.

"straight down here,"
"straight down here,"
"straight down here," each 'straight' was accompanied by the 'arm chopping'.

"You go straight down here."
"You go straight down here." I couldn't see the driver, but I could feel his despair.

"straight down here,"

"You go straight down here." he paused briefly to think.

"You go straight down here, then turn left at Mrs Roberts'."

52 Comments:

Blogger Frobisher said...

A nice post - put a smile on my face!

11:14 AM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

It's not always good to be kind to the 'retards'.

George W Bush.

I rest my case.

11:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL oh dear, you do make me smile. That post made me grin and that comment is a classic, keep it up Tickers!

1:04 PM  
Blogger Snooze said...

Everyone thinks smaller towns are closed minded, but in some ways they are so much more accepting. And like Lady Muck, I love the comment on GW.

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great post!

By the way, I've been meaning to ask: What in Christmas is a "Tickersoid"?

1:13 PM  
Blogger Kyahgirl said...

This is a great post and well written. Apparently you don't 'stuggle' with English as much as you have led us to believe.

We had a village idiot when I was growing up. Mr. Geridosi. Still remember his name after all these years.
You're very kind, and very funny.

And, I am waiting, with inexplicable device for your answer as I had the same question!

3:08 PM  
Blogger phlegmfatale said...

Incredible post. Thanks for the giggle.

3:48 PM  
Blogger QChique said...

Great post I know a thing or two about village idiots myself. Your last post challenged us to think of a response and I believe there is a collective sigh of relief now since our deficiencies were exposed, well mine at any rate.

Fun at the expense of another's sloppy dialing is the best kind. Cheers!

4:25 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Wow, I feel a little overwhelmed with your appreciation of this post. I wasn't sure how it would be recieved. Thanks all.

Muck- You were the first to give me encouragement when I started blogging.

Snooze- Your right, when I first came here from the city and walked into the 'Cock' it seemed like a bit of a freek show. Now it all seems normal. There is even a guy here with the eyes of a mole and hands like pincers. despite this, he's a bit of a ladies man. Might be something to do with being an international athlete. I've sat with him in the 'Pit Pony' and had to tell him how pretty the two blonds were across the room and whether they were giving him the eye.

IDV & Kyahgirl- Tickersoid. 20 years ago I started working as a quality inspector. At the end of the shift, the quality supervisor would ask how it had gone. If all was well, I replied, "Tickerty boo"
This became my nickname. Now it's usually Tick ( sounds like a parasite ) or Tickers. Tickersoid came about as a result of a cartoon superhero character called 'Freekasoid' I just combined the two.

Phlegmfatale- You must have got here through Cezi and Qchique, Welcome to my blog.

4:32 PM  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice said...

Ah, that explains it. I googled it and it came up with your blog and some bizarre car related stuff. I thought tickersoid was a bit of car engine or somesuch. Kind of like a solenoid (sp ?)...

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the sound of Pantymonywm.

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I just like typying it, in an Abey Repeat kind of way.

4:53 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

IDV- I just googled it. The car related stuff is also me. Bit embarrasing really now you know what car is lying in bits in my garage, and how much I paid for it on e-bay. The gas powered Ford Granada was good though. Did the equivolent of 70 mpg in luxury.

Arabella- I guess it's a bit different to San Francisco. Just as hilly though.

5:03 PM  
Blogger Kyahgirl said...

ah, makes perfect sense. :-)

5:53 PM  
Blogger phlegmfatale said...

I've chased so many blog links this week that I honestly couldn't begin to tell you how I ended up here. I just know I really like your writing, and your sweet but pithy observations. I'll list you on my links when I get those set up later this week. See ya soon.

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought I saw a picture here earlier? where did it go? blogger wouldn't let me comment.
Very nice photo, nice to meet you :-)

11:10 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Phelgmfatale- 'Pithy' good word. I'll wright that down. Thanks for the link.

Kyahgirl- Thanks. I wanted to use that as a signature photograph, but the system went all to cock and I couldn't use it. Yes that's me.

12:09 AM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Write not Wright.

12:09 AM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Oh, and Hi' Frobisher.

12:16 AM  
Blogger Fuckkit said...

Nothing will make you feel more backwards then trying to type your name into the high score chart of a PS1 game using a laser gun.

Thought of this post when I was trying to do it last night, dunno why.

10:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read every word of that twice.

I feel demented now.

3:03 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

fuckkit- I've got a PS2, Mehhhh.
Don't have a lazer gun though.

P&T- No change there then.

Shifty- It would be hard not to listen to Abey. You can hear him comming a long way off.

3:41 AM  
Blogger Fuckkit said...

I've got a PS2 and a laser gun *sticks out tongue*

I just dont have any PS2 games to go with said guns :(

11:44 AM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Bugger!

And you can do bold type in comments.

I'm gonna spend some time trying to figure out what html is.

Don't hold your breath for results.

1:33 PM  
Blogger Fuckkit said...

Dead easy, use the B tags for bold and the I tags for italics.

(b)BOLD(/b)
(i)ITALICS(/i)

Replace ( with < and ) with > and you will get:

BOLD
ITALICS

This concludes HTML lesson one.

7:32 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

So let me see, I do this for bold and this for italics.

So do I do this for a link?

8:03 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Obviously not.

I'll try again.

Why do I do this every day

8:11 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Thank you fuckkit!

I'm so pleased.
Consider yourself hugged and squeezed and called 'poppet'.

Sorry, I was getting a bit carried away then.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice said...

Oh. My. God.

You are a technological genius!

I bow and scrape at your feet

* gags *

Peeewwww!

8:21 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

I am semi-senile, what did you expect?

8:26 PM  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice said...

Not that!

I thought the poodles would've licked your feet clean...

9:01 PM  
Blogger Fuckkit said...

*tips imaginary hat* Anytime ;)

Now, about your personal hygeine...

9:04 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Yeh, I know, I've got 'funny thing' arm pit. Sorry.

9:10 PM  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice said...

I think you're showing off with your linking skills now.

9:27 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Yeh innit great!!!

12:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I keep checking to see if you've posted, and each time I realise you haven't I read this again.
Timeless classic.






I really want to do that to someone. In fact, I feel I may attempt to do that the first chance I get. Provided I'm pissed at the time obviously.

3:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, whats this about a bowling ball? Do tell...

3:52 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Thanks, I was so pleased with the reaction.
I didn't think about doing Abey impressions the next time I'm stopped for directions. I'd feel too guilty afterwards.

Bowling ball? I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Sounds like something Fuckkit might of talked about. Well you know what a gossip she is. I'm sure she makes most of it up half the time.

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, I know what she's like, the fucker. Full of it. Not like straight-up individuals like ourselves, eh? Fnar fnar

8:56 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

The personification of purity and innocence.

2:38 AM  
Blogger Divian said...

If all my friends are village idiots in their own right, I wonder what that makes me? Hmmmmmmmm...

6:35 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Xtasy- You are the 'Dark Diva of the Delta'

7:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just don't have anything to say recently. Today was a total loss, but it's not important. Not much on my mind to speak of, but that's how it is. I've just been letting everything happen without me. I can't be bothered with anything recently.
- tickersoid.blogspot.com 0
spaghetti alla carbonara

6:39 AM  
Blogger Vincent said...

Not only did I love your post but when I read it, and also your comments, they came out with a very pronounced Welsh lilt. Is thre a name for this phenomenon?

6:00 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

If not there ought to be. I don't speak with much of a Welsh accent. Try imagining a slightly more butch Dale Winton.

7:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks on your marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed reading it, you happen to
be a great author.I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will come back sometime
soon. I want to encourage you continue your great writing, have
a nice afternoon!

Have a look at my web site: free microsoft points

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll immediately grasp your rss feed as I can not in finding your e-mail subscription link or newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly let me recognize so that I may subscribe. Thanks.

my web blog - Dragon City Cheat Engine

10:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you have a spam problem on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was curious about your situation; many of us have developed some nice procedures and we are looking to trade methods with other folks, be
sure to shoot me an e-mail if interested.

Take a look at my blog post - Pirater un Compte facebook

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent beat ! I would like to apprentice at the
same time as you amend your web site, how could i subscribe for a blog web site?
The account aided me a appropriate deal. I were
tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered shiny clear concept

Here is my web page: candy Crush saga hack

2:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello! I've been following your website for a long time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Huffman Texas! Just wanted to mention keep up the great work!

Also visit my blog post - Microsoft Office Gratuit

9:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello! Would you mind if I share your blog with
my myspace group? There's a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content. Please let me know. Thanks

Look at my blog post world Of tanks hack

4:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your sites really nice, keep it
up! I'll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back later on. Many thanks

my homepage :: codes psn gratuit

8:41 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home