Steak Knife.
I've spent so much time, addictively blogging recently, the house work has fallen behind.
Today, I've tidied up a bit.
The dirty dishes are now where they belong, in the wash bowl. The contents of the washing machine have been removed, sniffed, and returned to refresh cycle. All undesirable things ( excluding poodles ) too big to be hoovered up, are neatly stashed under the sofa. The pile of mail, which was blocking my exit to the front door, stacked neatly together for administration.
Usually I open letters with my fingers, but as there happened to be a steak knife on the coffee table, I used that. Much easier.
It wasn't until all the bills and junk had been safely filed in the bin, and I was placing the knife back down on the table, that a startling thought crossed my weary but imaginatively unfocused mind.
This isn't my knife!
cue; trombone shot*
I don't know which conclusion is more alarming. Either something very creepy is going on or, I'm so senile, I acquired the knife some time ago and have forgotten how.
* Trombone shot - The cinematic effect pioneered by Stephen Spielberg, where by the perspective behind an actors head changes to wide angle whilt his head remains the same size in the frame. This shot is used to emphasize moments of horrifying realization.
Bugger! Wrong photograph. Never mind, I'm off down the pub.
posted by Tickersoid at 8:31 PM
.jpg)
48 Comments:
Yey I'm first.
Is that you? you have the same glass pattern on your door as me - "Autumn Leaves".
pathetic-you can't do 'yay, I'm first' on your own blog!! That's cheating. :-)
Nice pic, now just upload it into your profile.
Maybe IdV left the knife behind in one of his odd space/time travel moments?
thank you for explaining the trombone shot-I learned something today!
I can see a ghostly spectre in the glass behind you!
She's gorra knife!!!!
Bit spooky finding a knife that isn't yours, just there. Have you checked your attic? there may be like a mad axe - or knife- murderer up there. just a cheery thought for you at bedtime.
Don't have nightmares.
Tick- Yes, you were indeed first well done.
Frobe- Taken in the pub, not my glass.
Kyahgirl- My blog, my rules. IDV, of course, it's all beginning to make sense. I'll probably have Lee commenting that my definition is tosh. It was a long time ago that it was explained to me but I think I'm right.
Tina- You could be right. There again, I've just got back from the 'Pit Pony', so I don't care.
I wondered about the photo, as you didn't look very disturbed about the knife thingie.
hey gang. has anyone seen my steak knife??
JJ- Finders keepers.
Welcome to the Tickosphere.
I find it interesting that upon discovering the knife, you ran off to the pub. The lunatic will most likely be gone by the time you get back. Either that or you'll be too drunk to care. Die happy, that's the way I see it.
* phases in looking for a knife *
Oh. That's not mine. Mine's much bigger!
Where the Hell did I leave it then?
* starts to phase out again *
Hope you don't die in some horribly messy bloodbath. Oh, and at least you don't look like Dale Winton...
Who's the horror movie character?
Knives. Nasty sharp things.
The only people that should be allowed to wave them around are surgeons and the like, for chopping bt's of tit's off and things.
*trots back out, worried that I may be turning to stone after witnessing Medusa's hubby*
Killer probably saw that mush and legged it, screaming ;)
(Yay, I'm 13th)
Phlegm- I've always been disturbed.
Shani- There are no end of reasons to go down the pub.
IDV-Is not looking like Dale a good thing.
P&T- Those who gaze apon my visage usually turn to drugs.
Fuckkit- Thats rich, I've seen your portrait you know. Sets the pooches off.
Dale, love it.
Now all you need to do is culture your 1% gay streak and you'll be well in with P&T.
tina- You're scareing me now.
If you get stabbed can I have your blog?
No way, if I said yes, you'd be round here quicker than you can say 'Norman Bates'.
Oh by the way, Muck says it wasn't a bowling ball and said to mention the incident with the gear stick and the strawberry jelly.
Said you'd know what I meant?
The gear stick and strawberry jelly incident wasn't me. It must have been someone else as well.
Oh and BTW, How come Muck lives in Brighton and you don't.
Coz Muck goes to uni in Brighton and I don't :)
I just heard that Radio 2's traffic siren Lyn Bowles is a St Hilder's girl. Hooda thunkit.
Theres a Radio 2?
Great pic! Now about the knife, that's just creepy. did it already have blood all over it?
Fuckkit- You youngsters don't realise how 'Howerd Stern' Terry Wogan can be. Much more edgey than anything you'll find on Radio 'gibbersh'. It's just that you have to be at least 45years old for the references not to sail over your head.
Snooze- I know, In spite of what Fuckkit says I look adorable, in a wrinkley old kind of way.
Blood, No, but I've just made a fried egg toastie with ketchup. Used said knife for it.
Is that any help?
Wah hah ha!
Love the profile pic of "you".
That'll teach me...
Strangely enought, some of the guys at work have compared me to Dale. I thought they were just winding me up. I listened to Tina's Odeo and had to re-think.
Terry who?
Philistine
Perhaps your Dales abandoned secret twin?
I could be Julian Clairy and Dales love child.
Oh dear gawd. That thought should never have been implanted in my head.
*nicks the picture while I have the chance to photoshop it later tonight when I'm pissed*
Tickersoid, I was going to leave a comment about your post more appropriate than this, but the only thing I can think about is how gorgeous you are! Sorry, Handsome:)
Cezi- Thank you, I know, I'll have to take 'ugly' pills or something.
I tried moving it to my profile but I'm told the URL has more than 68 charactars and won't be accepted. Hence Dale Winton (shorter address)
who the hell is that dude?
:-)
anyway (piggy's fave word), I saw your question on kyahgirl's blog about my fabulous grooming. since she is so busy (lazy) I will do a post about my grooming so your poodles will be in the know.
Oh good, mine look like a couple of mop heads. Fluffy and Little Miss sometimes assalt them with a pair of scissors, but it's not always successful, or without injury.
oooooohhhhhh a picture!! I love pictures!!!!!!!!!! Espcially good ones!
and I give you an A for all the chores you completed today :)
ok, Casper has laid out his wisdom for your pooches.
Y'know, on a serious note, I am actually kinda glad I know what you look like. Its always good to be able to put faces to words methinks.
Your right, and what with us being so damned attractive, it's only fair that our beauty reaches a wider audience.
Actually most of the people in our blogging comunity are attractive.
Not sure about Funny thing, the last picture we saw of her, she looked like Captain Birdseye in a storm.
Yeah, and her head is out of proportion to the rest of her.
And I think she's got a prehensile tail.
I'm extraordinarily attractive, hence my reluctance to post a picture.... I don't want stalkers.
Now bugger off and leave me alone, you bastards.
Now she comments. I little defensive there aren't we, Funnny Thing?
You are, you are. We will, We will.
*Geeze*
I've been busy.
And I'm far too important to be bothering with minions.
I've got nothing to say really. Just wanted to take the comments up to 50.
Post a Comment
<< Home