The Long Awaited 'Tim's Todger'.

Some time ago, I made reference to a 'Tim's Todger Story'. So far, I haven't delivered. I've felt uncomfortable having 'Tim's todger' hanging over my head for so long. Well you would, wouldn't you.

There is a longstanding gag in our 'works', usually performed by 'gentlemen who don't have to stand quite as close the the urinal as the rest of us'.

You're sat in a control cabin talking to a couple of guys opposite.
In the middle of the conversation, you feel something warm and velvety against the back of your neck.
In a nano-second, your brain performs a search of the file 'sensations you are likely to feel while talking to your mates in a control cabin'.
No find.
It repeats the search.
No find.
This initiates the 'Personal space violation, gather more data routine.'
You've guessed. You pull back and see a penis, attached to a grinning colleague.

Now as a sensation in it's self, it's actually quite pleasant. If it wasn't, you would react before the 'file search'. However, when you suddenly realise what it means, your reaction is instant abhorrance, followed by betrayal, as you realise the guys in front, failed to give the slightest hint of what was coming.

Recently, due to an imminent change in work practice, I've been given a trainee.

Tim. ( real name, I did get his permission )

Tim is an experienced steel man. He's intelligent, despite being what the Americans would call a 'jock'.
It's inevitable, that Tim is only with me when work is undemanding. As a result, we've had time to chat.

He was telling me how, in his younger days in British Steel, during the 80's, he was a perpetrator of the above gag. There was an old hand called Noddy. Pre-Windows computers had just been introduced. Noddy, never having used a key board before, and having poor eye sight, used to, very slowly and deliberately, scan the key board, stamp a key, then look up over his glasses at the screen to check each letter as it came up. You can imagine how long it took him to write.

One day, Noddy is just finishing a long piece of text. He leans back in his grubby office chair, satisfied with his work.
Tim slaps his awesome manhood on Noddy's shoulder.
Now Noddy's been in the industry for years. Seen it all before.
Instead of jumping up in horror, he just strokes it like it's some pet ferret or something saying things like,

"He's a beauty, what a lovely boy, so handsome....."

We were both almost wetting ourselves with laughter as he told me this story. Tears were starting to blur my vision. Just beginning to calm down and catch our breath when I quipped,

"Did you get a bit of 'wind*' in him?"

That set us off again.
I just love these stories.



*wind - Lazy lob, slight thickening due to mild arousal.