i> Away With The Fairies.: Bad Day at Work. (one for the boys)

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Bad Day at Work. (one for the boys)

Every now and again, you get a day at work, when nothing works. Usually if something fails there’s a way around it. If more than one related item fails things start to get interesting. If this results in workers running around in a semi panic, it often induces someone to get out his mobile phone and play the end credit music to the Benny Hill Show over the tannoy.

Flat steel strip is stuck in the machinery. It has to be nibbled out. The nibbler lead is too short to reach from the socket to the problem. An extension is found but it’s got no fuse. A fresh fuse is put in and the nibbler is connected but it just jambs onto the strip because the blades are poorly adjusted…etc. If the process stops it’s an instant £7,000 penalty.

Sometimes this kind of thing goes on for hours. Adrenalin stops you noticing the passage of time.

Eventually, everything settles down.

You have time for to relax for a spot of lunch. Toss a ready meal in the microwave and slam the door.

It’s at this point the ‘door open’ button pings out like a bullet, the full length of the mess room and disappears under a table.


Anonymous Loz Actual said...

I will share with you a secret. A very super funny thing. It doesn't sound very funny - but it punches so much above its weight when you see it in real life.

Get some dvd playing software which will let you play an mpeg in double speed with no skipping or flickering. I think WinDVD does it. Or PowerDVD. One or the other.

Get some porn which changes scene a fair bit - multiple partners and activities.

Get the Benny Hill theme tune.

Put the porn on. Mute the sound on the porn player. Play the Benny Hill tune. Put the porn on double speed.

Watching a ballsack slap against a perineum at hyperspeed to the benny hill tune, with fast jiggling jiggly bits, is so funny. It 's so crude that it really shouldn't be funny. But it really is!

Especially if you get a money shot when a horn goes "waaak waaak". I nearly passed out.

1:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

somehow, i'm disturbed yet amused by the above comment.

poor tickers. if i understood any of what you said, i'm sure i'd be more sympathetic, but unfortunately, i didn't get any of it except the microwave bit and even then only slightly.

yes, i know this comment confuses you. it confuses me and i'm the author. oh well.

5:07 AM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Loz- I can imagine it very vividly.:-)

Pink Drama- All you need to know is that nothing worked and it's very frustrating.

5:38 AM  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice said...

This nibbler: It wouldn't be the very same one from Futurama, would it?

1:30 PM  
Blogger Snooze said...

You know it's a bad day when even the microwave doesn't cooperate.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

IDV- I've put in a link now. Not easy as google images kept comming up with images of Lord Nibbler.

Snooze- zactly

2:18 PM  
Blogger jungle jane said...

I love it when you talk about butch, manly things like microwaves...

2:53 PM  
Blogger Hey Lady said...

I'm laughing, but I'm sorry! Oh god.
I just updated my randomosity post and it looks like we were both having great days at work.

3:05 AM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Jungle Jane- That's because I'm very butch and not in the least bit gay.

Hey Lady- I'll have to rush over and take a peek.

8:29 AM  

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