Where's Fuckkit?
No one seems to have heard from Fuckkit for a while. Where is she?
Here are my theories.
1. She’s fallen in love with somewhere.
2. She’s fallen in love with someone.
3. She’s fallen in love with a group of people.
4. She’s fallen in a hole.
5. She’s fallen in a hole and been eaten by ants.
6. She’s been eaten by wild dingoes.
7. She’s been eaten by a gang of marauding lesbian bikers.
8. She’s joined a gang of marauding lesbian bikers.
9. She’s joined a monastery.
10. She’s joined the mafia.
11. She’s discovered joined up writing and no longer uses a key board.
12. She’s had one too many.
13. She’s had one too many left ear piercing and is going around in circles.
14. IDV has cast a spell on her.
All other suggestions and theories welcome.
posted by Tickersoid at 9:22 PM
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38 Comments:
She's locked in a cake factory.
Got a job in a cake factory and now her arse is too big to get out the door more like.
She's had one too many and been eaten by a gang of marauding lesbian bikers at a croc farm.
i saw her over to Qenny's not too long ago.
eating cake and lesbian bikers.
*sigh* what a CUTIE.
Spike- Of course, I forgot the shark and croc menace.
First Nations- Maybe she's invented 'lesbian biker cake'.
What do you mean *sigh*, I thought you were into greasy bears? I mean, even as a lesbian she's not that hairy.
Just a thought, is that the skull of one of IDV's flying monkeys?
Yes, it is! And just for that, I had words with an 'acquaintance' in Oz.
In a totally unrelated matter, Fuckkit's been eaten by a giant venomous drag queen, wearing a strapless cocktail dress made of sewn-together Kylie cast-offs.
Eating lesbian bikers? And here's me thinking it was a family blog.
And I very much enjoyed being eaten by the drag queen, cheers for that IDV.
My god you can tell its been too long.
Damn you found her before I could suggest "she's got into older women and that takes time and concentration! :)"
Anyway fuckkit - howzit?
I don't get it...what were you up to, Fukkit, during your absense??
Yay Hunky Tick! You found her!
FUCKKIT! Woman, where art thou?
Actually she's just here under my desk giving her tongue a little workout.
Oh no hang on. That was a dream i had last night. No, sorry - i'm not sure where Fuckkit is.
Inexplicable DeVice- Blimey, you're not aquainted with the legendary, Kylie cast off, strapless, giant, venomous, drag queen of death are you? Even so, I'm sure she's no match for the melding of metal and flesh that is Fuckkit.
Fuckkit- Winkle picked from your lair by the forked tounged drag queen of death.
Lippy- ....and perhaps a few HRT patches.
Emmak- 8 is my guess.
The Fifth Floor- It's a skill like worm trembling.
Jungle Jane- You see, this is what comes of eating fish, directly before going to bed.
Right well i guess we know how to find Fuckit then. Lay a trail of drag queens and sit back and relax with a beer.
JJ - Fuck, I think I had the same dream. Spooky shit.
I've been doing... um... stuff. I swear I'll blog about it as soon as I can. Its not like I have much else to do, I live in the Slow Death that is Broome for fucks sake.
geez, i go missing for a couple of hours and fuckkit goes missing and is found in a few short hours. that's the last time i defrag my computer.
Pixie Sprinkle- Maybe wouldn't work on a windy day. All that billowing chiffon could frighten her off.
Fuckkit- How come I don't get dreams like that?
*makes note to eat more sardines before bed time*
All of life is but a slow death, it's the best you can hope for.
Pink Drama- Defrag? Aren't they the muppet like things that live in a rock?
'going round in circles' has made my day! I am just picturing it now....
I'm just jealous though.
Andi, I am beneath you once again as I bow down to the Queen of the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts.
tickers - honey, those are fraggles.
Andi- It's what we're here for.
MJ- You've made history by being the first person to mention the freakin' green elf shorts on this blog.
Pink Drama- Are you sure? I thought fraggles are the external genital organs of the female, or is that the vulva? No it can't be, the vulva is a Swedish automobile.
She has popped up once or twice, and does send the odd email (I say odd, because attachments come up as old fashioned MIME-encoded gobbledegook, the likes of which used to be common in the days we were moving from plain old email to email that actually supported attachments.)
I would go for the being eaten by a gang of lesbian bikers theory, with the addition of an observation that she is in the process of being eaten by them, and continues to chase away anyone who tries to stop them for any reason whatsoever.
I did get a toenail in a glass of Ozzie red recently, and thought fondly that it might be hers.
I wonder if we could build a machine, into which we could pour imported Australian wines, with a view to reconstructing her, like that transporter gizzmo in Star Trek.
We can rebuild her. We have the technology.
That was from the theme of the Six Million Dollar fuckkit, by the way.
* Does Nan-an-an-an-an-an-anaaaa's in back ground *
She is off having far too much fun. I have a big Fuckkit shaped hole in my life, and a hole in my wallet that stops me running away down under to track her down and pinch her cake. Muck misses Fuck.
=(
I know what's really happened....
Long pause for effect....
She went straight and married a balding hairy backed midget with two penises for double the fun. She is now MD of the Anti-Cake league. She has inexplicably become allergic to tea and is seeking the total banning of goon. Tis true.
1. Yes, we all miss her.
2. .....And Hugh Heffner is gay.
Gah! I had this awful nightmare that-
Shit! M'Lady's just confirmed that my nightmare was real life!
I'm shocked and offended that the photo of me is labeled Butch Dyke...
Butch? ME?!?
*wanders off to buy titty porn, scratching crotch and belching*
well there you is!
good gravy marie, woman, post!
( i am an ecumenical sort, tick. and fukkit is a cutie pie.)
*goes to webster's dictionary to look up definition of ecumenical*
i may be book smart and a walking encyclopedia, but that one confused me.
Inexplodable device- I'm sure it's not true......can't be....
Fuckkit- Does your handbag contain lipstick? Do you even have a handbag?
First Nations and Pink Drama- The only part of that I did understand was, 'ecumenical' and that's only from watching 'Father Ted'
His advice for all theological debates is to say, "I think that's an ecumenical issue."
And she is indeed a cutie.
I've just got back from First Nations place after reading her brilliant Hairy Mary post.
You really must see it, if you haven't already.
You summoned Fukkit! Good work Tickers!
Snooze- It was nothing really. Just a few black candles, a pentangle and some satanic incantations.
Haha, had a great time reading all of the posts!
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