Last Day
The last day of a foreign holiday can be difficult. Checked out of your room at mid-day but plane doesn't leave until late evening.
We leave our cases in reception keep a change of clothing and hit the beach.
The under foot conditions on the shore line are aggressive. Trying to stand up, to walk out, is a challenge, with the waves being more forceful than previously. I opt to sit on my arse, face the sea and allow the waves to push me inshore. Soon, I arrive in the coarse sharp sand together with a ton of see weed.
Holiday over, it's time to change, I use the showers in the massage room.
The moment I drop my gaily coloured shorts, a shower of pebbles pings off the tiled floor together with a kind of huge salad of sub aquatic plant life, possibly a few muscles and I swear I saw a crab bounce off the floor and scuttle away into a dark corner.
In the mirror my buttocks are laticed with stuck on sea weed.
The shower tray gets blocked, I get out and dry myself just as it over flows.
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I've just checked the last draught and found the only mistake was , 'I swear I saw a crap bounce off the floor and scuttle away......'.
posted by Tickersoid at 10:43 AM
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22 Comments:
Sounds fantastic, if not a little alarming to have the whole sea world up your shorts. Where were you?
Cyprus. A surprisingly Britishesque island.
Wow - that sounds like a lovely getaway. I'm envious. Nice photo, too.
Scuttling crap? You must do something about that anal leakage issue.
Are you auditioning for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue?
Phlegmfatal- I have an appointment this afternoon.
MJ- I avoided wearing my speedo's or Budgie Smugglers as we call them.
and yet you see how natural it all felt, right up until you offloaded? this proves that we really did evolve from crap.
Thank you for the new picture for my tick shrine. I must now go and salivate over those yummy legs.
I wondered where you were!
Bloody hell Tickers, you look like 'Curly Watts' from Corrie in that piccy!
FN- I evolved from beautiful things like butterflys and rainbows.
Awa- You are a devout and respected worshiper.
Frobisher- Tickers skin desperately needed the kiss of Mediterranean sunshine.
Tazzy- I fear you'll never achieve the level of discernment that Awa has.
OMG! He DOES look like Curly Watts!
*starts Photoshopping*
...them are some fine titties, though.
word to your momma.
I have to say that I agree with Tazzy and MJ. Where's Emily Bishop? Hiding behind that gnarled old trunk on the right?
Wait a minute, that is her.
Catching crabs on holiday is always a risk, I suppose, but big enough to see them scuttle? Eeooo!
Fewclewz............
Enuff awready!
No one told me Baywatch was back on
You'll be due in about a week for your monthly blog update.
MJ- I'm nothing like him!
He doesn't have my perfect jaw line or twinkling blue eyes, or my high cheek bones.
FN- Fine titties? I don't come here to be insulted. That's what family are for.
IDV- Could be Minnie Caldwell. Now I'm showing my age.
Qenny- It's always pissed me off that my first dose of crabs was caught whilst I was still a virgin.
Few'- Sorry old fruit. Had trouble accessing my account.
Gumpher- I'm just imagining Pammy A, The Hoff' and myself running in slow motion, our titties all wobbling grafically.
MJ- Composing it now. It'll be hard hitting, ill informed journalism.
I though it was pics of curly Watts....it was wasnt it ???
Stick a hairnet on and you'd be the spitting image of Ena Sharples!
I love that you just let all that junk accumulate in your shorts as the waves eased you ashore not unlike a dolphin nudging a paraplegic out of the water and back to safety. btw, my crap is always scuttling away.
Hang on am I missing something since I've been away?... are you Curly from Coronation Street..?
... why is Curly Watts appearing in your photos? I don't get it...
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