The Weeks Snippets
Tickers- "The only reason you guys are spending your free time walking over mountains, is to satisfy your curiosity as to what it's like to be a lesbian."
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Tickers- "Why do you call him Blisters?"
Ed- "Because he doesn't show up until all the hard work is done."
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Guy #1, "Why don't you move your computer downstairs?"
Guy #2 "Because I prefer to masturbate upstairs."
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"So he said, I'm a lover not a fighter.'
So instead of hitting him, I snogged him.
Turns out, he was a fighter after all."
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Late Friday night. I'm at work when a text comes through.
~I've got to get my self one of these nail guns. It'll nail anything to anything. Brilliant! I feel like a storm trouper.~
I text back in capitol letters.
~DO NOT GET DRUNK!!!~
The reply comes straight back.
~Too late mate!~
When I get back in the morning, I find my front door step has been nail gunned.
posted by Tickersoid at 1:28 PM
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15 Comments:
YAY! First!
I'm so confused - I thought the nail in the hand had something to do with Christianity.
::holds head in hands:: I'm shameful. Palm Sunday has nothing to do with...
Oh, I am not a good person, just not. Am I. LOL.
on an upcoming post i will elaborate on the theme 'why a nailgun loaded with framing spikes is a less than optimum instrument in effecting ones' own demise.'
you think i am joking.
The "Blisters" snippet got me thinking...
Why do they call you Tickersoid?
Why would anyone prefer to masturbate upstairs? Wont it make a mess on the stairs? I don't have any myself as I live in flat. Stairs that is...
Thanks for the MUCH needed laugh!!!!
Wow - this place looks different. Nail guns - they're not just for life - they're for Christmas!
Fifth Floor- Now you have me imagining JC in ER explaining what happened to him. "Luckily, being the son of God, I can raise from the dead so there's no rush for you guys but if you could just remove the thorns, sword and nails, I'd be very greatful."
First Nations- I've come to realise, if something is the work of a nut job, it's probably been drawn to you like a magnet.
MJ- As a quality inspector I was often heard to use the phrase, "everything is Tickerty-boo." Tickers, came to be my nick name. When I tried using that as a user name on various sites it was already taken. My kids were big fans of the comic super hero Freakazoid. I just combined the two but with the English 's' instead of the American 'z'.(which incidently, is called a zed not a zee. I'm not sure how Canadians stand on this.)
Mutleythedog- No not upstairs, but.....Oh never mind.
Awaiting- You're very welcome me dear.
Phlegmfatale- Nothing quite as butch as a tool belt and nail gun.
The blisters one is hilarious!
Thanks for enlightening us!
We Canucks use the "z" in spelling...e.g. it would be spelled "Tickerzoid" rather than "Tickersoid"
However, we pronounce the "z" zed, not zee as the Americans do.
We're an odd bunch over here stuck between the Brits and the Americans.
Few'- I suppose he would, never thought of that.
Few'- Me too. It's our age dear.
Jingo- AKA Billy Listers.
MJ- Now I'm enlightend.
I love the reason for a computer upstairs.
I bet you were the one doing the snogging too.
You were lucky it was only the front door step. I would've nailed the door to the frame all the way round. hen probably shot myself through the foot as I did a drunken celebratory jig.
..yes, i am a freak magnet. my presence here confirms it.
rather than continue to run, though, i have become resigned to my freakual attractant properties, which lead to the decision to blog. i need WITNESSES to some of this stuff.
thanks for the explaination of the moniker! do you know how many variations of 'Tickersoid' i've googled trying to figure out that one?
well, none actually, but the thought crossed my mind a few times.
Ohhh I get it about Tickersoid - I thought it was a sheep disease or something...
Snooze- OK, since appreciation is being shown, I'll confess to being Guy#2.
Convict- Ah it brings back memories of living in Stopsly Luton.
First Nations- Being the only Tickersoid on the web, it's a little worrying that one can find out so much about me by google. The price I paid for my three wheeler for one.
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