i> Away With The Fairies.: Steel Workers Talk Cars

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Steel Workers Talk Cars

Spider, "........................with the car door key."

"Car door key?" Dirk enquires with genuine confusion.

With the sigh of someone resigned to starting from first principals Spider continues.

"Remember when cars used to need a key to open the doors?"

After a short pause, Dirk's expression changes from quizzical to enlightened.

"AAAAhh right, I'm with you........blimey, it's been a long time since I had a car that needed a key to get in."

Tickersoid, "I've yet to own a car that doesn't need a key to get in."

Just then the control cabin door opens and in comes Morris, grinning.

Spider, "Oi! What've you done to my buttie Gymboy? He's come to work all white and trembling."

"You've heard then?" Morris chuckles.

Harry, "Why what happened?"

Morris, " We were following a car that turned left into a side road, then immediately swung right to do a 'U' turn. He obviously didn't see us until his car was blocking my lane when he slammed the brakes on. I swerved to the right clipping his car......."

Harry, "Any damage?"

Morris, "Yeh, all four side panels either scraped or dented.......I swerved right in front of an oncoming young girl in a green Ford Fiesta. By the horrified look on her face she was filling her knickers."

Harry, "Did you take a picture with your phone?"

Morris, "What of her shitting her pants?" he teased, "No, he pulled up behind where we'd stopped so there was no point. Solicitor he was."

Harry, "That's it then, you'll be stitched up."

Spider, "Yeah, it'll all be your fault."

Gymboy "It's all right, he's got a witness, me."

Harry, "Doesn't count, you're not independent."

Spider, "That's right, in his version, you'll be swerving down the road, talking on your mobile phone....."

Spider loves a wind up but Morris isn't biting.

Morris, " Yeah, whilst trying to light a cigarette....."

Tickersoid, ".......and changing a cassette."

Everyone looks at me in disbelief.

Spider, "Changing a cassette?"

I'm starting to feel like an anachronism. "OK, advancing your Ipods or whatever."

Tickersoid, "I can remember, back in the '60's, they used to make vinyl record players for cars. They didn't work very well, but they were available."

Spider, " I bet they had a few coins on the playing arm to stop it jumping."

Tickersoid, "......or a knob of placeticene....or just your knob...."

It seemed funny at the time I said it, but a second later, it didn't work or make any sense. Morris picks up on this,

"How are you going to listen to music with your knob on the playing arm?" He bows his knees and thrusts out his groin to create an image of absurdity.

Tickersoid, "Hey butt', it's not about the music."

All the characters and events described in this post, are fictional and any resemblance to persons either live or dead or events is purely coincidental.
Butt' or Buttie = Friend or buddy.

17 Comments:

Blogger The Mistress said...

Do you steelworkers all laugh and slap the botties of your butties?

7:39 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

No, but dry humping is accepted.

9:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is nothing wrong with a bit of dry humping......cleanses the liver

10:31 AM  
Blogger FirstNations said...

they sneak a little mdma into the watercooler there, don't they.

4:45 PM  
Blogger The Mistress said...

Did one of your postings fall off the page?

I could have sworn...

6:11 AM  
Blogger Snooze said...

lol - I can relate about remembering or still having cassette drives.

4:49 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

I see you didn't own up to the 8-track then Tick?

3:22 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Beast- Liver cleansing in great demand here.

FN- Would explain a lot.

MJ- I know, I've been feeling a little strange lately.

Snooze- I've always been a bit anachronistic.

Lippy- 8 track was out before I had time to get into it.

6:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very odd story - I am sure that there was never a record player for a car...

9:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's nothing wrong with having your knob in your playing arm. Well, hand. It's perfectly natural, and all part of growing up.

7:41 AM  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice said...

Heh heh! That final image of Morris made me laugh.

Of course, I don't have a clue what Morris looks like, so I just substituted Bernard Cribbins.

6:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fewclewz.............Has the novelty of blogging worn off perchance?

1:02 PM  
Blogger Divian said...

Where you at???? I missa you!!

7:18 AM  
Blogger Kizzy R. Hannah said...

Hope all is O.K. You have been away almost as long as I have. xxx

12:02 AM  
Blogger Divian said...

Fewwwwww...where your trike riding arse at? What you been up to? I miss you and my tick!! :)

7:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you still alive or can I cross you off my blog roll as I have a fresh porno site waiting for a link?

10:43 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

I really must give some sort of explanation of my whereabouts. Will update blog when I get back from my bank holiday weekend away.

9:51 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home