i> Away With The Fairies.: Just a Bad Dream.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Just a Bad Dream.

I lower the bucket containing the skin cream. In the well below, the naked, frightened young woman shivers with cold.
Ignoring her pleas, I chant.

"It puts the lotion on it's skin,
Or else it gets the hose........."

I awake feeling disturbed and emotionally uncomfortable. Relief dawns on me as I realise, it's just a nightmare and I won't have the almost impossible task of making 'again' rhyme with 'skin'.

My apologies to readers from the more southerly parts of the USA, for whom such a rhyme poses no problem.


My favourite quote of the week comes from the Australian contestant in the World Transsexual Pageant held in Bangkok, as she complains about the prejudice she experiences.

"Just because I have a penis, it doesn't mean I'm any less of a woman."

Well actually luv......it kinda does.


I know I'm a bit dyslexic but it's obvious there are six vowels in the English alphabet.


So why does everyone else think there are only five?


Blogger l said...

I read the words "bucket containing the skin product" and envisioned a bucket of skin scraps.

7:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fewclewz 'ere,

methinks thou dost have too much "Stella" in thy stomach! Where didst thou come up with "Y"?
Methinks that the glare off thy shockingly white legs hath fried thine brain!

8:04 AM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

I- I wasn't happy with product but didn't want to say lotion twice. In hind sight I should have used 'cream'. I'll change it.

Few'- Such barbe-ed comment from my portly and judgemnetal brother, doth stimg my heart and trouble my Stella marinaded mind. A mind largely unfried by ghostly white legge-ed glare. Since with recent Welshly weather fair and legs either shrouded or bronzing in sunny light and air, my shinly dazzelment is but transitional.

Tickers Fakespear

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Egads and gadzooks, perchance mine sibling hath become bewitched by Welsh Trolls, charged with fervour and intent on mischief.

Begone thou foul Welsh Trolls and leave the glaring legged one be - He hath no unpickled greymatter for thy Trolls feast - another hath already sucked him dry!

9:36 AM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

In language, vowels form the nucleus or peak of syllables, whereas consonants form the onset. A vowel is a sound in spoken language that is characterized by an open configuration of the vocal tract so that there is no build-up of air pressure above the glottis. This contrasts with consonants, which are characterized by a constriction or closure at one or more points along the vocal tract.
‘Y’ has two sounds in English such as when used in cyst or sky. The former is just another way of writing the ‘I’ vowel and should be considered as an idiosyncratic duplication in our hybrid language. The ‘y’ in ‘sky’ however is the pinnacle of the syllable ‘sky’ and requires an open vocal tract. Thus, it is by definition a vowel.

Now doesn't that make me sound clever like I know what I'm on about?

9:49 AM  
Blogger Snooze said...

I always learned that vowels were A E I O U and sometimes Y. Poor Y - not a permavowel.

I love the transexual's comment. I agree with her from the gender stance, but it's still hilarious to read.

11:35 AM  
Blogger awaiting said...

"Just because I have a penis, it doesn't mean I'm any less of a woman."


I say just because I have a vagina doesn't make me any less of a...uh...nevermind. I am all woman over here. Think I should get bigger boobs to prove it?

2:48 PM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Snooze- You clearly had a better education than myself.
Of course most men would be very uncomfortable meeting her in the gents toilets. If toilet use defines gender then I know where you're comming from.

Awaiting- You don't need bigger boobs, trust me.

4:51 PM  
Blogger Lippy said...


because a, e , i , o , u R vowels!

9:12 AM  
Blogger Qenny said...

On the vexing vowel question, if you get a decent answer, see if it can also be applied to people thinking they have only five senses.

(And I'm not getting all Derek Acorah here.)

2:59 PM  
Blogger First Nations said...

..having a penis doesn't mean you're any MORE of a woman either.
voice of bitter experi-

um, nothing.

5:33 PM  
Blogger ~d said...

It puts the lotion in the basket!
I effin LOVE that line!

7:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm... fantasizing about something in particular, are we? Dear Hunky Tick I didn't know you had it in you. Dear boy.

4:04 AM  
Blogger Tickersoid said...

Lippy- I think R might be a semivowel.

Qenny- The sixth being?

First Nations- I'm either becomming more thick or everyone else is becomming more cryptic.

~d- I'm OK with you. You've always been cryptic.

Fifth Floor-
I didn't know you had it in you. Dear boy.
I just hope you're not talking about the trannie penis!

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, but, no, but, but yeah, but, no but,I love her!

12:24 AM  
Blogger Frobisher said...


10:53 AM  
Blogger phlegmfatale said...

I howled at this one, darling.

But what's up with the small print??? I mean, "skin" and "agin" DO rhyme!

4:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is it my fault that i put at least 2 syllables on every word even if it's only meant to have 1? (pronounced wu-en)

4:22 AM  

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